Day 003

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us. - Peter De Vries

I slept like a log last night, despite my two year-old deciding to climb into bed with us at some point in the night, and felt pretty well rested when I was awoken by the alarm going off.

At our weekly sessions, we get given homework to do. This consists of an exercise that is designed to get us to change the way we think about our lifestyle - I nearly said 'the way we think about food', but that's not the emphasis of the programme - and develop strategies for managing challenging situations. Yeah, there's a temptation to write it all off as New Age pseudo-scientific bullshit, and as a confirmed sceptic, the moment I hear anything that rings bells, I'll be the first to denounce it, but actually, nothing I've read or heard thus far has been anything particularly outlandish.

There are actually two books. One is the rather tweely-titled 'My Journey', in which we record our progress, and the other is a work book entitled 'Connections', which covers a week at a time.

In the front of 'My Journey', there's a statement that they ask you to sign and date. It asks you to commit to losing the weight by following the programme, attend the meetings, do the homework, keep matters discussed at the meetings confidential and manage my weight once I reach my end goal.

The next page suggests that writing a letter to yourself is a good way to commit to the programme. Again, it sounds all horribly and self-helpy, but I have to keep reminding myself that I am actually engaged in what is essentially a self-help programme, albeit a facilitated one. Therefore, I am going to write the letter in the spirit they advise (which is positive rather than self-deprecating and sarcastic, which is my natural inclination). So...

Dear Less = More,

I'm writing this to you to remind you of why you undertook this programme in the first place. Time, as they say, is a great healer, but that can lead to complacancy. Before I focus on the positive stuff, I'd like to take an objective look at how you are at the start of this programme.

• You are, to be frank, pretty disgusted with yourself. That's not to be knocked, because it's this disgust which has motivated you to change things. It's not unreasonable either:
• You have moobs, aka man boobs. Actually, let's be more descriptive, you have saggy, hairy tits that are larger than some of your previous girlfriends', that make you feel embarrased because you know that even clothes can't hide them.
• You have a gut that spills over your belt like a giant sagging jelly, and not just at the front, but around the sides. This embarrases you. Even when you hold it in - which you do all the time - you have a fat gut.
• You spend vast amounts of money on food that you know you don't need and which you cram into your gaping maw like coal into Ivor the Engine's furnace and which gives you but momentary pleasure. And then you wonder why you never have any money.
• You have a - not unrealistic - fear that you will die of a heart attack or end up with diabetes as a consequence of your lifestyle. This genuinely scares you, not least because you may widow your wife and orphan your children because essentially, you prefer food to them.

But, there's good news. You've taken a positive step to change all of that. No more self-loathing and disgust! No more embarrasment! No, you've taken the decision to change your life and put yourself, not food, in control., and you can do it as long as you stay focussed. This is what you want to achieve in the next year.

• Get your weight down to thirteen stone.
• Change the way you think about food so that you're in control of the choices you make.
• Be more active and take steps to protect your health.
• Go skydiving!

I'm going to print this letter out, put it in a SAE and give it to J, so that if she ever thinks your committment is waning, she can send it to you to remind you that you are positive and engaged with this programme and that you can do it.

You owe it to me to stick with it and hit your goals.

Yours sincerely,

Less = More

In my next post, I will discuss the homework assignment.